Recently, this has become a big focus in my life, what it really means to love myself. As I have moved deeper and deeper into entrepreneurship, my relationship with myself has completely changed. I had no idea it needed to change, it just has over time. Yet, I seek growth all the time and I seek to let go of any personal limitations, that is, anything I notice in my consciousness that may be limiting me from fully expressing myself in all areas of my life.
So why am I surprised that loving myself has been or is the key to
my ‘Full Expression’ as Meredith Bowerman in life, love, and business?
It surprises me because I never recognized that I needed to love myself. I didn’t have the awareness or the knowledge that that was what I needed to do. Here are two very BIG statements that would float up from the depths of my subconscious:
- I am not enough (can show up in life in various ways – not enough friends, not enough money, not enough creativity, not enough of – you fill in your own statement here).
- I am not worthy (of love, of friendship, of acceptance, of success, fill in your own personal words here).
Those two statements are extremely powerful! They contribute to how you treat yourself and how others treat you. As I became aware of this voice repeating these statements to my body, mind, and soul, I almost stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn’t believe I had been telling myself these things. Intellectually, it’s silly, but on a heart and soul level, it was something I truly believed. And instead of seeking a change within, I used to seek the change outside of myself.
I sought outside recognition and validation – needed it and wanted it. I really thought that that would get me to a place of confidence and value. I sought acceptance from others. Again, I thought it propel me to the next level of success or happiness. I wanted someone to love me so that I could feel worthy(of love).
It takes a lot of work to get other people to do these things for you since they too have their personal agendas and needs that they want to take care of. Luckily, I began to catch on that it was ME that had to start giving those things to myself. The ‘love’ and ‘worth’ I wanted and craved had to start coming from within – from ME. Now that was a BIG AHA moment!
So how do you start doing that exactly? There are so many tools out there. I really believe that you have to use the ones that suit you in the here and in the now.
- Affirmations – powerful statements that you intend to adopt as a new of thinking and being. However, if you don’t believe what you are saying, then it’s not going to work. Beliefs are powerful and deeply held. So before you come up with a statement (ex. I am powerful – yet you feel powerless) use a ‘releasing statement’ to help you release the old. And to embrace the new belief – it will take lots of repetition. How many years did I tell myself that I wasn’t enough and that I wasn’t worthy? It could’ve been 20 or more. To get my brain and body used to these new statements, I repeated them over and over and over again until it became a way of being.
- Exercise, healthy food, lots of water, massage, acupuncture, getting outside in nature.
- Meditation – quiet time with yourself, your breath, (no thoughts!) and the higher power you believe in (God, Buddha, Spirit) – it reminds you that you are already whole, you feel connected to that ‘something’ that is greater than you. Our hearts seek love and connection – meditation is a great way to connect to that deep part of yourself that IS love and nothing but love.
I am a work in progress, but I now love the work, I love the progress, I love everything about me and even appreciate the ‘girl’ who didn’t love herself. Because it was that girl – yes that girl taught me how to love myself, how to accept ALL the parts of me I used to judge and hate, it was that girl – the unworthy and unlovable one – she was one of my greatest gifts and greatest teachers…
So what are ways that you can start loving yourself more?
Let me know in your comments below!
XOXO
Meredith
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